Guinea Pig Diaries-Story of a Chubby Piggie
April 5, 2012
Ooops, it’s been a couple of months since I’ve written in this thing. I can blame twitter for it. You know why? I am always tweeting with other piggies and friends! Also, mom has been hogging the computer all to herself! Easter is coming up and this year, there will be no Easter Bunny, there will be an EASTER PIGGIE HOPPING DOWN THE PIGGIE TRAIL! I am just as cute as a bunny, if not cuter! I too can leave gifts for people, like poo, lettuce and fur. Also, if that Easter basket of your is made of chewy stuff, I will chew on it!
During the day, mom is always talking to me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool, but I’ve gotta sleep at least 20 hours a day or I’m a mess, not to mention, a very grumpy piggie. Spring finally arrived a few weeks ago, so I’ve been out tanning and grazing on grass, dad’s shoes, and leave poo piles in corners. Recently, I’ve discovered that I love music! I’ve been jamming to Moby, Rhianna, even some Lady Antebellum.
Did I tell you that, I had to dog sit, again?! I had to sit on that dog for a while, I just don’t understand the meaning or purpose of that. Can’t a dog fend for itself? The dog continuously licks me and wants to play tug of war, I am just too small and strong for him!
February 6, 2012
Hi everyone! My mom is doing something epic, something cute, something guinea pigish. She has published her first newsletter called Guinea Pig Monthly! Here’s the link to the newsletter: http://us4.campaign-archive2.com/?u=251fa9215fefa90f3812f854f&id=2e024403b7. The next one will be coming out mid February!
Now, to talk about me, I am the cute one writing this stuff! Mom’s still looking for a job, but makes plenty of time to pick me up, give me kisses and tell me that I smell like pickles! She is doing three volunteer jobs, which she loves, so she is happy, so this piggie is happy. As usual, I spend a lot time on Twitter, talking to all of my pals, which is great! My piggloo is being renovated, so I moved in to mom and dad’s bed til it’s finished. I am adding some stairs, more rooms, etc. This renovation is to accomodate friends and family. I am a pretty fortunate piggie and hope all animals are or could be this fortunate!
So, the dog decided to give me a lick on the face. Ick! He likes the taste of pickles, I guess! Well, this little piggie needs a nap, so I’m outta here.
Thanks,
Chubby
January 8, 2012
Mom has been playing nurse to dad and grandma these past few days. I am not sure what a nurse is, but it sounds tiring. She herself is now getting sick, poor mom. Last night, about 8:30 pm I was sleeping soundly in my cuddly cup and this noise of epic proportions shakes me awake. Dad is making these wretched sounds into the toilet. I thought that he was worshiping this porcelain throne, but nope. He was giving it dinner! Like a baby bird get his food from the mamma bird! I have never heard something so gross and annoying in my life.
Recently, I met up with Bobby kitten, with a nice lunch. We went to Cici’s Pizza, it was so much pizza. Until, then, I had no idea a piggie could eat pizza. While we were enjoying our lunch, a kid comes up to me and starts trying to pet me. I am immediately insulted because I am noming on delicious food! I give a quick wheeeeeeek and the kid runs crying to his mommy, haha!
Most of time is spent on twitter talking to all my pals, human and non-human. We sure have a great time! During the day, when I am not tweeting, I’m usually hanging out at the hay buffet with Wiggly Tumuns or Piggus Biggus. I have free air connections, so I can fly to England or Australia any time! Mom and dad encourage me to travel, it makes me “worldly”, sounds like the definition of fat. I am fat, so I must be worldly.
December 20, 2011
Only a few more days til Christmas! I bet mom and dad will buy me some more hay and veggies! Mom had to leave this morning for a while, she had a job interview. She sure was cheerful and happy to be asked to come and interview at a company. I think she would be doing SEO, which is something this piggie does not understand. The good thing is, when I am alone, I can blast my music and sign really loud! Most of the day I’ve spent cozy in my cuddly cup and eating bon bons. As a prank, I started a snowball fight on twitter with my pals, heeh! I am dog sitting again today, I sit on the dog a lot! The dog barks so loud and tries to eat my kale, therefore, I fling poop at her.
I’ve finished my Christmas shopping and bought enough pignog for the party and piggieclaus. Mom and dad decided to put me in a sweater and I promptly ate it and chewed on it. This little piggie does not wear clothes! If anything, they need to clean my cage so I can poop in it and make it stinky again. I love smelling like pickles, keeps the humans from kissing on me!
November 10, 2011,
Today is quite cold outside and my fur coat has not fully puffed up for the winter, yet. I’ve voted to stay in my cuddly cup inside my pigloo. Thank goodness I have a laptop, I can tweet and blog from my warm abode. For past few weeks @wiggly_tumuns and I have been having little food fights. I think he started it by throwing hay and pellets at me. I probably stormed his castle again, he hates that! I’ve thrown flapjacks and he’s thrown toast and oranges. He thought it was a food fight at Denny’s, lol! Mom had an interview last week at a big company in front of a panel of people. She was quite nervous when she left the apartment. She has an interview today, so hopefully that will go well for her. Mom and dad are good providers even when the money is tight!
September 29, 2011,
I am sitting here listening to Katy Perry’s E.T., without Kanye’s lyrics! I am a guinea pig of good taste and I do not want to hear Kanye West signing, it sounds like me pooping when I’ve had too much kale! So, we have now entered fall and for us piggies it means our coats are going to get puffy and thick. Mom assumes that since I will be puffier that she can take all kinds of pigtures because I am soo cute. I know that I am cute, but she just wants to keep reminding me. I had a free chance to write, so I took the bait, because I will be asleep again soon, I’m just a lazy piggie. I’ve got to be 100 years old by now, seriously! Dad started a new job about a month ago and he is so much happier. He actually comes home to play with me, instead of squeezing me like a stress ball! That makes a pig so very happy. I continue to wheek and whistle when the refrigerator is opened, thinking that I am going to get some good veggies or fruit. The other day, I kept flipping over my pigloo and mom never got the hint that I was wanting veggies. She claims that I need them for breakfast and dinner, but I want at least 4 meals a day, woman! Mom and Dad are going to the beach this weekend and they are taking me! Dad said that I could drive the car, but he will have to control the braking and acceleration, cuz I ain’t got long legs. I am having a blast on Twitter with all of my pals. We have dogs, cats, guinea pigs, gerbils, hamsters, etc! It’s like an animal house in there, seriously. Remember when that Bronx Zoo snake escaped? She was on twitter letting us know of her adventures. I was afraid that she would eat me, so I tweeted from a distance! I talked to Bobby Kitten recently and we were recalling our younger days. I remember coloring and sharing Timothy Hay, those were the days. I am getting sleepy……zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
September 3, 2011,
I apologize for not writing in so long. It’s been a really rough summer and I’ve been to bummed to really write much. Mom has been searching for a job all summer and nothing has really come to her aid. I try to make her smile by purring and being sweet, but it’s hard most days. As a guinea pig, there are not many jobs out there to help, otherwise I would get a job. This weekend, we are dog sitting, so I promptly sat on the dog when we arrived. He was not phased and continued to sleep. Maybe I should poop on him, that would do it! Dad got a new job and is much happier, so happy that he picks me up when he gets home and gives me some fruits. I am still chilling out in my cuddly cup and with me getting older, I don’t move around as much as I used to. Hopefully I will write more, soon.
July 26, 2011, 6:37 pm
Today mom thought that it would be a good idea to take me to Cedarock Park and help restore the Garrett house. Since mom lost her job, she does tons of volunteering until she can find a job. We were upstairs in this big white room, finishing up painting the ceiling and walls. Of course, it is hot and all the silly humans are sweating and complaining of being tired. Upon arrival, I am immediately handed a paint brush the size of a “human.” As I ponder the aspect of using this huge brush, mom promptly gave me a “guinea pig” sized brush. With all of these big humans slugging about I have to avoid drips of paint bigger than my poop footballs. Just as I get started, a big glop of paint hits my beautiful coat of chocolate fur! I look like white cotton ball! I do continue painting, but in my mind I am thinking that I will never get this paint off my beautiful piggie coat. As always, mom comes to my rescue and dips me in some water. I turn back to my nice chocolate color and remove myself from this painting project. This park has a couple of mules, Bonny and Clyde. I figure something this large tends to be my enemy, especially if the feet are hard as cement! After pondering, I go over to the fence and give a loud wheek. Clyde turns to me and offers me some hay and I take a tiny bit and make fast friends with Clyde. Bonnie gives me some tips on how to roll in the dirt and we have a nice dust bath, which is quite nice, considering that I am not a chinchilla. All in all, I had a pretty awesome day. Now it is time to get in my cuddly cup and get some sleep.
July 18, 2007, 8am
As I stretch out of my cuddly cup into the day, I hear mom calling me for breakfast! Nothing like hay, peppers and cavy chow for a meal! Today is the second day of daycare and I am excited to meet with Bobby Kitten, again! Mom came and scooped me out of my cage, put me in my piggie seat and we were off. I arrived a daycare to see my buddy playing a ball of yarn all alone. When I came over, Bobby Kitten instantly smiled and purred very loudly. Bobby Kitten is very nice buy nobody wants to play with him. He is the only cat in daycare, the rest are all guinea pigs. The rest of the pigs are afraid that he will eat them, but not me. He was so nice to me that first day and he deserves a best buddy! Our second day was full of fun and yarn!
May 31, 2011 Time:Unknown:Cuz:Im:Tired
Piggies are not meant to sweat in the heat like this! One’s fur gets puffy and pretty soon you look like a Tribble from that Star Trek episode! It was so hot today that I pretty much stayed in my cuddly cup where the AC was blowin. Most of today, I watched Ice Road truckers on Netflix. I am so addicted to that show, I’ve even got mom and dad watching! Hell, they pay for Netflix, they might as well be let in on the fact of the matter, right? Earlier in the day, I was awoken at 6:30 am! Can you believe this?! Mom had to get up to get ready for work and I just had fallen back asleep since dad left for work at 3:30 am. Mom knew that I was a grumpy piggie, so she opened the fridge(this is where us guinea pigs do our wheeks and chirps) and gave me some kale, strawberries, and parsley. She knows the way to my big butt. Dad usually gives me parsley, ALL THE TIME!! I’ve gotta train him some more, he has failed! I checked my twitter account and I am so happy to have followers from everywhere! Thanks to all who follow me, human or creature!
I am already working on another journal entry, it’s gonna be about my days with Bobby Kitten. I know the entries are sparse, but when you are pig as busy as me, you gotta put things in order.
As always, thanks to whomever reads these!
May 16, 2011, 8:24 pm
Mom and dad took me to the beach this weekend! It was so fun that I had to come home and write about! We left Friday morning about 10:30 and cruised down the interstate (mom was going 80 mph!), had lunch with grandma and grandpa at Wendy’s. I got a kids meal with a fruit cup, it was great! Mom and dad decided that it would be cool to take Buddy (german shepard golden retriever mix) on the last half of the trip. So, we got Buddy loaded in Dad set the cruise to 78 mph, he wanted to be slower. Grandma and grandpa left a few minutes before us at Wendy’s but we caught up to them on 40 East, so Buddy wagged his tail and I motorboated.
When we got near Leland, NC we ran into a rainstorm. I was scared, but Buddy said that it was no big deal and I calmed down. Mom and Dad told us to look and when Buddy and I did, we were on the bridge going over the Intracoastal Waterway towards Ocean Isle Beach!! The ocean was beautiful and sparkled soooo brightly.
Mom and dad unloaded us animals, set up our habitats and we were set for the weekend. Grandma took mom, dad and me to Calabash Creamery on Saturday afternoon. I got three scoops of ice cream and they were delish!! We then when to Callahan’s Nautical Store and looked at all kinds of gifts from the sea! I wanted a t-shirt, but it was too expensive 
Sunday, we had to leave, but we did not leave super early! We usually leave at 10 am, but we did not leave til 12:30! Grandma ordered Dominoes pizza and we went to pick it up. It was good pizza, especially since Buddy and I had pizza, too. Buddy had bone flavored with cheese and I had Timothy Hay with cheese. We all at 4 pieces of pizza, cause we were hungry! After laundry was finished, we loaded up the rest of the car and headed home. We were sad, but mom was very sad. She cried on and off for most of the ride home. She told dad the reason why she was crying is because of the situation with their jobs and worrying of not having enough money to pay for gasoline in the car anymore. We ran into a big thunderstorm in Pender County, just outside of Wilmington. Other than that, it was a smooth ride home, but a long one. When you are going down to the beach the ride seems fast, but on the way home it takes forever. I want to thank mom and dad for taking me with them!
April 29, 2011, 9:30 pm
When I bought my TV for my cage, I never knew on Wednesday night the things that I would see it broadcast. Mom and Dad were playing XBOX 360, so I decided to go into my piggieloo and watch some tv. Nothing was on, so I checked the Weather Channel to see if my golf game was good for the next day. I saw something that looked really strange. A huge cloud shaped like a cone on the ground was swirling and tossing things around! By things, I mean houses, cars, roofs! I had no idea what this was, so I let a loud weeeeek out to call my parents. On my TV they saw what the humans call a tornado. All three of us watched as a tornado ripped through parts of Alabama. As a guinea pig, I do not understand these things, but I hope everyone who was affected by these storms can move on. I do think all guinea pigs, who can, should help.
4-16-2011, 5:04 pm
The weather was just wild today! I woke up to some rain, then sun with periods of dark clouds. About 2 pm a line of storms came through with tornado warnings, but it was not too bad. My humans and I were bracing for the worst. In Eastern North Carolina several long track tornadoes did severe damage. One tornado was 3.5 miles wide!! Jim Gerbil called me and told me that he saw the tornado in Raleigh (that is where he lives). Luckily, he and his property were untouched. We missed a very dangerous and deadly storm.
I have not written in my journal lately because I have been bummed out. Dad had his hours reduced and mom is not allowed extra hours at work, so money is very tight for my caregivers. We cannot go to the park, movies or even buy groceries sometimes. I did join Twitter and made some new friends along with contacts! Getting back together with Bobby Kitten for lunch is in the future! We are going to eat at Cat Tales, which serves food from the finest cat chef in the world. Today, I redecorated my cage and I like it quite a bit. It has been a long day so I must motorboat over to my cuddly cup.
Up in the morning, into the hay. January 1, 2011, 6:00 am
Timothy hay is my favorite guinea pig treat. Timothy hay makes the world go round, no doubt. When my owner gets up, I demand hay. For breakfast, lunch and dinner, I eat hay. Growing a hay garden is my next project so I can have all the hay that I can eat.
Piggie point of view. January 1, 2011, 7:00 am
As a low rider in the animal world I am the last to know when it rains, I can’t step in puddles and I can’t drive big cars cause I can’t see over the dashboard! I am running late for work, I should have left 5 minutes ago, but I am writing this diary entry instead. I work at Cavy Computers, designing microchips that help us guinea pigs talk. We still have some kinks to work out, otherwise, us piggies sound like British people. We are from the South American region, so we need to have a Latin accent. My owner is preparing my travel cage so I can go to work and earn those pig bucks. My owner loves taking me to work, I think it is because she likes seeing the piggies in their lab coats!
1-12-11, 1:08 pm
After being out of work for 2 days cause of snow, I can finally step outside! For a guinea, snow and ice are dangerous. I just finished my lunch that consisted of Timothy Hay and watermelon. I just noticed that my fur is very thin in one spot. I will buy some Pigrogaine when I go PigMart. Being out of work has given me time to play my CavyBox 720 with my shootem ups. I like my Cavy Ops the best!! Well, it is nap time, so I will write some more later.
1-13-11, 8:16 pm
Ah, after a long day at work there is nothing better than soaking in my SPA!! MY owner washed and dried all of my blankets and cuddly cups, too. After my spa adventure, I rest in my RED cuddly cup and relax. I’ve been thinking of my childhood days lately, wondering how Bobby Kitten is, Jim Gerbil in jail? Being 3 years old in piggie years is like 21 in people years maybe more, I dunno. I miss the days of my youth! I have another long day ahead of me tomorrow, so I am hitting the bed.
2/3/11, 12:10 pm
Wheek!! My owner was in and out of the hospital this week and I was busy driving her back and forth! Do you know how hard it is to fit a piggie into a Dodge Caliber and be able to see over the steering wheel? Many days were spent worrying about her, but she is all better now. She takes care of me, so I take care of her!!
2-14-11, 7:50 pm
Happy Valentines Day! My owners go my favorite fruit as my present! Watermelon! I was so happy that I started popcorning and bucking like a bronco! On another note, I quit my job! My owners want me to stay home and enjoy my piggie life!! I plan to do whatever I want! I caught up with my friend, Bobby Kitten over lunch at the Guinea Garden last Friday. We talked about the old days in daycare, playing catch, etc.
7/16/2007, Flash back…..
Daycare is fun! Only a little over a few months old and I am with many guinea pigs, cats, dogs and ferrets. That warm July day I met Bobby Kitten! Bobby Kitten was an awesome tabby, with black strips and a solid black stripe down his back. Being a guinea pig, I was very scared of cats, my mom piggie mom warned me of them before I was adopted by my humans. However, I sat down on my kindermat and hoped he would not see me. Bobby Kitten came over my way and I began to panic. Just when I thought he was going to eat me, he said hi and started sharing his gummy tuna fishies with me! That day I made a new best friend and learned all cats are not bad!
2-25-11, 9:09 pm
Friday is the best day of the week! My owners have two full days to pet me, call me cute, and worship me! Being the cute pig I am, it must be stated. Since I do not work anymore I thought that I would have more time to write in my journal, but I am so busy having fun! This morning after the rain stopped I went to play at the park with a squirrel that lives in the woods behind our home. That squirrel won all three rounds of tennis! The coolest part of the day is when my owners took me to Mellow Mushpig. It serves human pizza and timothy hay pizza. I am very fortunate to have people who care about me so much. As a guinea pig, I have to rely on my owners. I have been thinking a lot about my brother Max, he died when he was 1 1/2 years old. He had a heart complication and had to be put to sleep by the vet. He was cremated and buried in the back yard. I do miss him and I wish he was here to be with me and enjoy these times. Rest in peace brother, I love you!
March 9, 2011 8:00 PM
Ah, that banana was so yummy! Mom cut me a banana into slices and put it into my little dish, she is the best mom! So, today has been busy. I did laundry, vacuumed, etc. The weather has been kinda of crummy so I’ve been reading and my selection is extensive. Today I read Cavy Potter, the Guinea Pig’s Apprentice. I’ve tried to make more time to write in my journal, but I’m too busy. Once a week is a good idea for now, but hopefully I can start writing more soon. I was doing some more thinking about my daycare days! Those were the days……Bobby Kitten made those days away from my owners fun and helped me not miss them as much. One day we had Ice Cream day I had no money(money was tight back then because my parents were working shorter hours at work due to the boss), Bobby Kitten bought me some Ice Cream (cookies and cream popsicle). Only a true friend would buy ice cream for someone! To this day, cookies and cream is my favorite flavor of ice cream, cakes, pies, milkshakes, and more. I would love to write more, but I am very tired and I want to make time to read a Tale of Two Piggies! Night, all!
March 15, 2011 9:23 PM
Nothing is better than a day at the beach! Mom and Dad surprised me with a trip to Ocean Isle Beach, NC. Today I played with our neighbors, the Yorkies, Kitty and Xena. We made sand castles and enjoyed hearing the ocean. Everyone thought that my red trunks were just awesome and few doggie girls whistled at me. Mom and Dad also brought Hue, the Betta fish on vacation. He likes to swim in his little cage and sleep on top of the flowers. Remember how I was reading A Tale of Two Piggies? I finished that book last night, now on to Pig and the Carrot. I love to read, it puts me in another world where I can drift away into complete serenity. With our vacation not ending til Sunday, we are just trying to enjoy our leisure time! Being a guinea pig is great, especially with great parents like mine! I would like to write more, but I want to enjoy more time reading before bed.
7-17-07 8:00 am
Mom, do I have to go to daycare? With it being so early, I want to sleep in and watch cartoons while eating Cavy Crunch. It’s a Saturday for wheeeeking out loud! Reluctantly, I get into my car seat and make the trek to daycare. To my surprise, I arrived at Bobby Kitten’s house! I spent the whole day playing with Bobby Kitten! Mom had to visit a friend a few hours away and Dad was working extra hours. The parents thought that I would be much happier with my buddy; and she was right!
Hilda and Bobby Kitten Sr. planned the best day for us. Hilda made hay pancakes for me and tuna oatmeal for the rest of the cat clan. After breakfast, we went to Worlds of Fun and had spectacular day. I am glad that I made a new friend! Thanks Mom and Dad!
